sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
alana-leonie: if you kiss my neck, you can softly hear the sound of my clothes being thrown to the other side of the room.
owlapin: owlapin: owlapin: MICROSOFT WORD HAS A FUCKING “INSERT CITATION” BUTTON WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS IS SIGNIFICANT INFORMATION FUCK THE SCHOOL SYSTEM THIS IS MICROSOFT WORD 2007 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE OF THIS IN HIGHSCHOOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I HATE EVERYTHING you can fucking log your sources into your document and then at the end press a fucking button and...
parrotcakes: IF EVERYONE BECAME HOTTER EVERY TIME THEY WERE A GOOD PERSON AND BECAME UGLY WHEN THEY DID HORRIBLE SHIT OH MY GOD
Leaving for a date
whatshouldwecallme: Expectation: Reality:
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a...– (via punkrockmermaid)
mooshumuffin: hannah—bear: teawithaview: Have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late. every day
Some men who want to compliment random women on the street are genuinely good...– Why You Shouldn’t Tell That Random Girl On The Street That She’s Hot » Brute Reason (via albinwonderland)
unwinona: feminerdity: phoenixwrong: ovenfeels: squidtestes: unbear: larvalhex: HEY U GUYS WANNA KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE ME/A GIRL & DO THINGS LIKE TAKE PUBLIC TRANSIT??? well watch this and see what happened to me on the bus today (movie thrills await!!) UghhhhhHHHHHHHhhhhh the worst kind of bus ride This practically gave me a panic attack just watching. I don’t take...
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
too-stoned-to-remember: Why do dogs go mental when they see another dog I imagine that in their heads they’re like THAT IS DOG I AM DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG
talaem: “don’t be shy” thanks u cured me
hollow-love: It’s always disappointing the night after having your lover to snuggle. Going from a warm, toasty bed and spooning to being cold and by myself in a double bed just kind of sucks a little haha.
dicksoclock: oh god so earlier today my dad and i came back from grocery shopping and we were putting everything away and he pulls a box of my tampons out of the bag and turns to me and says “where do these go?” and there was kind of this awkward moment of silence before i went “…my vagina” and then he kind of just fell over and nearly cried and was like “WHICH CUPBOARD ASDGHJ”
clearbay: I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT ｡･ﾟ･ﾟʕﾟ>ᴥ<ʔ･ﾟ･｡
anglosexual: misandryinhaiku: “women are weaklings!” i’m strong enough to carry your corpse to the woods this haiku is my favorite haiku
toribellamuerte: castielhasthephoneb0x: i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM You could say it brings him tears of joy.
windicuffs-tier: windicuffs-tier: what if when we fall asleep and we start dreaming it’s actually just alternate universe versions of us waking up and when we’re awake that’s their time to sleep I CAN ALREADY TELL THAT THIS IS A POST I SHOULD NOT HAVE MADE